2004/09/16

I guess my night would have been better if i had the chance to work during my upcoming Nov/Dec Vacation since it is gonna be the last time I can really work coz from next year, we will be posted to the wards for one month per holiday which also means that there is no way for me to really work… coz i would wanna stay home for 1 entire month to play! Anyways, felt sad and tears just came streaming down… afterall… this is not the first time i have been asked to quit.. I had to quit last year when my school in TP started but was very persisitant thus, managed to get thru with working on Sundays.. then recently the case was the last time i worked… then now, I’ve given it up in exchange to get distincions in Nursing… in my best way as well as not to stress myself up… But somehow, I really feel like asking myself… what is the use of scoring when no one appreciates your effort… afterall what you get is still shit… from your peers who just feel that you are like a piece of shit… and that’s my feeling abt it… I guess this is life… somehow, I just felt like running away from reality… I want to run to neverland… to stay there and enjoy doing what i want to do… and no one to bother me and where the will be no worries…

afterall… I’m still gonna go back to the retail line after I have completed my NS coz, regardless of whether i am working as a Nurse, I would still want to work in the retail line… it’s where i get to runaway from the fussy patients into the world of wonderful and cheerful people… was telling that to Imma and Azlina today as we went window shopping at J8 abt my future plans… regardless of whether i am able to secure any sponsorship… coz at this point in time… it doesn’t really matter afterall.. I’m the least interested in securing one, however, more interested in doing well… as for my holidays, will probably be spending them out… not at home, definitely you won’t see me home all the time… it’s either i go out shopping or i’ll be in the swimming pool or maybe taking up Yoga… since they don’t want me to work… I’ll prolly ask for a raise in my pocket money to between $400 to $500 from next year (still not decided)… I’m not a money minded person, but rather i buy what i need, thus I’ll take as much as i need… Anyways, will also consider taking up driving should i secure a sponsorship…

Afterall, my mood has been spoilt to even get going to my BioScience revision now… will continue with it tomorrow… I guess sometimes, letting go is still the best thing to do… for now i guess…

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